Borderlineness

[eateroftrees]

So I am apparently the worst at keeping the fact that I'm probably borderline secret.  You know, with the randomly talking about splitting on my main blog and otherwise spelling out my ABSURD DRAMATIC BEHAVIOR.

Also I called someone who's openly borderline my brain twin.  (I'm accumulating those a lot. Currently am up to three. :P)

I AM THE WORST AT THIS.

But um.  I'm considering moving my stuff about that to here because it's a tad more private plus COMMENTS! except if my experience is at all like wordpress nobody will leave them :(

Also maybe my like... massively productive MUST WRITE ALL THE THINGS ABOUT THIS stage has past.  I don't even know.

But yeah basically: better privacy settings here than on tumblr, considering migrating borderline posts over here instead of on a secondary tumblr because it'll, you know, be more private.

Or maybe I should just out myself and say fuck it.  I don't know.  Advice? (and, okay, my access list at this point consists of three people, one of whom I haven't even talked to about this at all so um.  Yeah. >.>  Not even sure who can give advice.)

Comments

[eateroftrees]

Yeah maybe something like that.

I mean I'm not even sure it mostly does effect my online communication except occasionally when I freak out. I mean, okay I do a lot of splitting online but it's usually something I hide and rarely happens to my closest friends anyway. (Or well, I tend to stay in the idealizing stage with them, anyway)

Maybe I should anyway it occasionally informs less obvious things about me, for example. I don't know. Also it might be useful to have a "NO THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU AUTOMATICALLY ABUSIVE, HOLY SHIT PEOPLE" post.

[paristhroughthewindow]

Yeah, definitely. When I finally "come out" I think I'm going to talk about how I fit the diagnostic criteria and then throw in something about abuse and BPD because SERIOUSLY.

(Also I'm glad I wrote the "mental illness as an obfuscation of systematic violence" post beforehand. And also is it just me or is splitting a really weird reason to abuse someone? Like, I'm pretty sure that I know it's not okay to be abusive just because I hate someone else or think they're evil. I should definitely make the point that "what we feel isn't how we act" too.)

[eateroftrees]

Yeah it seems really weird to me too. Like you can get irrationally angry at someone and not show it? I mean that's not even hard. (Or show it in not abusive ways, for that matter)

The 'frantic effort to avoid abandonment' might make a tad more sense, but like... even then there's an extra thought process that's necessary (not having any respect for people's boundaries) so that still seems like a pretty weird thing to do.

Anyway, yeah, how we feel isn't necessarily how we act, and probably 3/4 of this stuff is going to make you more prone to be a victim of abuse than an abuser.

Like... I can see how this stuff might inform the behavior of someone who IS abusive but like that would require the person also being abusive in addition to all these traits; and well, if abusive people try using this to excuse their behavior like... that's abusive behavior (...yeah that's a bit circular, but whatever) and not really any different from a neuroconvergent person saying "It's not my fault! You made me mad!" beyond slightly more sophisticated psychological jargon.